11 Hilarious Bachelorette Tweets

What to write about when you are keeping secrets from your best friend, and have spent every moment of this entire week working on stuff for her bachelorette party, but you can't blog about it because she reads your blog? (You do, don't you B?)

The Bachelorette.

It is Throwback Thursday, after all, and Monday is about as far back as I can remember. I know I said I wasn't going to do a recap but, desperate times... I'm cheating though, because I'm going to use everyone else's funnies to do it.

Here, I've aggregated some of my favorite tweets from past contestants, famous writers, fashionistas and losers from around the world (like me) who tune in every Monday to watch Desiree "fall in love" with a group of equally macho, nerdy and preppy little boys—many who I still think like girls. ENJOY!

Sidenote: These were publishing in normal Twitter format but that disappeared and I spent too much time finding them to go back and do it again. So deal with it.

Ben's never gone anywhere but he's certain that he's in the nicest house in Germany. #bachelorette
— One Chicklette (@1chicklette) June 25, 2013

"In case you guys forgot, your #bachelorette is really poor so this is her first time in Europe!" -Chris Harrison
— Jaclyn Swartz (@JaclynSwartz) June 25, 2013

Those who didn't get the one on one date mourn together by wearing matching hoodies. #bachelorette
— Sophie Prellwitz (@sophsizzla) June 25, 2013

"You're a great girl, but I just can't see myself hanging my hoodie next to you for life." -#Bachelorette
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) June 25, 2013

There's nothing like eating a sausage "Lady and the Tramp" style #bachelorette
— Kiki Von Glinow (@KikiVonGlinow) June 25, 2013

Don't you wish every sentence could start with "We were listening to polka music..." #Bachelorette
— Robert Mills (@Millsy11374) June 25, 2013

"Love is like sledding down this hill." Wise, wise thoughts on dating from Zak. #bachelorette
— Emily L. Foley (@EmilyLFoley) June 25, 2013

"Two guys one rose. One stays, one goes." Chris thinks to himself, "Dammit, why didn't I think of that?" #BAchelorette
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) June 25, 2013

Michael is an attorney. He has several techniques. Including THREATENING TO MURDER SOMEONE IN PRIMETIME #bachelorette
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) June 25, 2013

Clowns to the left of me. Lawyers to the right. Here I am stuck in the hot tug with you. #Bachelorette
— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) June 25, 2013

Don't worry Mikey, Snooki's husband's Mom's cousin has a place for you in their basement for a new reality show. #bachelorette
— Jaclyn Swartz (@JaclynSwartz) June 25, 2013

That does it for this episode. I'll force myself to do a recap next week, even though on Monday I'll be busy spraytanning and packing for my trip!