COVID-19 Diary #1
Current Mood. Clean hair, no makeup, wine.
So, I’m in the midst of rebranding my blog. I had plans to stay silent until a big reveal. But now that we are also in the midst of a pandemic—I think I’ll suck it up in the name of sanity.
Holy shit, guys. Sorry—I know it’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me, and I greet you with swear words. But, fuck.
I know I’m not alone as I sit here and type away at my computer, guzzling a bottle of wine, feeling anxious as hell, and thinking about how my lips taste like sanitizer and soap because I can’t stop washing/sanitizing my hands and also touching my mouth/face. Honestly, I had no idea how often I touch my face until now.
So, here’s the deal. The world is currently going through an unprecedented time in history. Everyone feels scared, anxious, panicked. And those who don’t feel that way should. These are scary, wild, TENSE times. I’m not going to give the backstory on what’s going on because 1) you would have to be living under a literal fucking rock if you don’t already know. And 2) — well, no, number one is really just it.
I can say that I’ve personally done a whole 180 on the Coronavirus. When we first heard about it in what, January? I was definitely all, “This is fine. Everyone is overreacting.” (Thanks, Federal Government, for telling me as much.) As we heard more about it in other parts of the world, I still didn’t really grasp the seriousness of what we were hearing. I think I started paying attention when large-scaled events started being cancelled. Then the entire world of sports shut down. Then the Happiest Place on Earth shut down. And so on and so forth until now, today, March 18, 2020, when most states around the U.S. have shut down all bars/restaurants, limited gathering in groups of more than 10 people, require working from home when and if at all possible, closed down schools for several weeks (some for the entire year!), and shelter-in-place orders are in effect. Other parts of the world are under official quarantine. It literally feels like the world is fucking ending, and I know there are a lot of people who actually think it is.
I am not one of those people. Like I said - I get it now, the severity of what we’re dealing with. At least as much as I can. I think there is still so much we don’t know, and so much that’s being kept from us.
All this to say—we all have to stay sane right now, and we need to do whatever can to do that.
As of last Friday, I’m working from home for the foreseeable future. My hubby is home with me, and we have gained two new co-workers named Connor and Liam. Their daycare is still open, but I can’t in good conscience keep sending them there right now given all the risk…despite knowing how much freaking easier this would all be if they were gone during the day. You know, so we could actually work. We’ll see how that situation pans out over the coming weeks.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s really not about me, or about them, or about Bryan right now. It’s about all the people less healthy than we are that we have to protect.
I’m joining up with Emma Golden from EmmasThing to bring blogging back during this crazy-ass time. What does that mean? It means I’m going blog like this is my journal, which is really all a blog used to be, before we got up in followers and likes and swipes and #ads and #sponcon.
Today’s Captain’s (B)log:
It was a rough start to the morning, with Connor waking up whimpering at 4:20am. He put himself back to sleep, but not before Liam woke up coughing at 4:30am. I was up trying to help him back to sleep about 5:30am. Wouldn’t you know that once I got back to my own bed shortly thereafter, Connor woke up screaming. He required a tag-team from me and Bryan—I gave him new jammies and snuggles and cough medicine, while Bryan changed his sheets.
Needless to say, we all got a slow start after getting back to sleep for a few hours but after that, we had a pretty good day, I think! The boys entertained themselves with Play-Doh, blocks, dancing and some outdoor time in the morning, followed by lunch, quiet/nap times, coloring, more blocks, some tablet time, dinner, relax time and bed. Bryan and I managed to get some work done and managed our conference calls pretty well, too. We’ll take it by the day and find our new routine soon enough.
For me, I forgot to eat breakfast. I did shower and change out of my pajamas. Tomorrow, I plan to take better care of myself by drinking more water, eating regularly and getting outside (pending rain).
Here’s what I know. Mentally, I need to chill the fuck out. I will keep looking for the positive in all of this. We have to, right? So, here are some rays of light in my world:
Family time. We don’t get enough of it, and I hope we eventually look back on this time and miss it.
Productivity + self care. I know we don’t need to be “productive” this time, but I do hope to put some of it to good use by using my commute time in the morning to get back to my regular workouts, working with B to tackle some house projects, sleeping more, writing more, reading more, etc.
Technology. We can use this time to connect, digitally, with work, friends, teachers, and family from anywhere in the world—most of which who all know what we are going through. I’m thankful for that, as it helps us all not feel isolated.
Cooking dinner + family dinner. I usually cook dinner but it’s always in a rush. We haven’t eaten together in a long time as a result of getting the kids fed, first and foremost. Can’t wait to sit at the table and talk about our days. Even though we will already know all about them, LOL.
Learning patience + letting go. These are going to be crazy times. I am going to have to practice and hopefully LEARN patience like I’ve never known…with my husband, kids and with the world, really. Every bone in my type-A, OCD planner body is not OK with all of this uncertainty and not knowing what changes each day will bring—but I’ve gotta figure out how to manage that.
Re-establishing connections. We need to check in on each other like never before. CALL EVERYONE! FaceTime them. Make sure your people are OK. A lot of us are not. I make sure to reach out to people every day for a mental health check, and just to say hi.
Until the next Coronavirus Diary…